Survival Instinct
by Avalon3
Summary: When Janeway and Chakotay decide to take a refresher course in the holodeck on basic survival tactics, everything that can go wrong does. Sequel to Eidolon.
1. Chapter One

Survival Instinct 1 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY II:**   
**SURVIVAL INSTINCT**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 1/3 

  
NOTE: I wrote this story a couple of years back, but thought I should pull it out and dust it off. Hope you enjoy! 

This is part two of the "Wraiths Trilogy" which began with "Eidolon" and will conclude in "Full Circle". Briefly, in part one, Chakotay was possessed by an evil alien entity and kidnapped Janeway. This takes place a few weeks later. 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: Thanks to Linda Campbell (as always!) for the great ideas, the wonderful title, and many of the nastier things that happen to Janeway and Chakotay. (The mudslide was her idea! Okay - I owe something to   
"Romancing the Stone" too...) 

DISCLAIMER: We all know that I don't own any of the characters from Star Trek. I therefore refuse to restate the obvious... ;) 

SURVIVAL INSTINCT I 

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, Janeway thought ruefully. When Chakotay had reminded her about her suggestion that they take a refresher course on basic survival techniques, she had agreed readily. A few hours brushing up on skills that obviously needed some work... what could be simpler? A great deal, as it turned out... 

* * * 

SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER: 

Janeway's steps slowed as she neared the entrance to holodeck two where her First Officer was waiting. At her approach, he turned and gave her a quick smile. "I like the outfit." She glanced down at the casual brown clothes she wore, and grinned. 

"It's the height of fashion in survival gear. Are you ready?" 

A faint glimmer lit his eyes as he nodded before turning and opening the holodeck door. "Are you?" 

"Yes." Janeway paused. "Chakotay?" He turned to face her and she gave him a stern look. "Just one thing..." 

"Yes?" 

"No matter what happens in there...you're not getting one more lock of hair. I don't care if we end up rubbing two sticks of wood together until our next duty shift, I'm not sacrificing any more hair in the interests of fire-making. Understood?" 

His smile widened. "Aye aye, Captain." He gestured toward the doorway. "After you." 

She shook her head. "Oh no. After you." The Commander gave her a quick look then entered the holodeck, Janeway following close behind. The door hissed silently shut behind them. 

* * * 

It was a forest. Janeway took a deep breath of the pine-laden air then let it out with a contented sigh. This was lovely. Chakotay had outdone himself when he programmed this. "I think I'm going to enjoy myself," she thought silently. Above them, the branches swayed in the slight breeze and the distant calls of birds could be heard through the trees. 

They were standing on a narrow path, sunlight glimmering through the branches. Just ahead the path divided itself into two trails that disappeared between the close-ranked trees. Chakotay and the Captain exchanged a quizzical glance. 

"First test I suppose," Chakotay mused. "Which way, Captain?" 

"Kathryn," Janeway said absently, pondering the two choices before her. She didn't see the brief expression that flashed across her companion's face. When she did look back at him, his face wore its customary serene mask. "We could split up, check both, and meet back here in fifteen minutes..." 

Chakotay shook his head. "No. It makes more sense to stay together. Besides...Kathryn...it would be too much of a cliche if we lost each other in the woods." 

A chuckle escaped her. "Agreed. All right, let's go...left." 

"Why left?" 

"Why not?" 

"As good a reason as any. Well...once more unto the breach..." He set out along the path, striding smoothly over the uneven ground. Janeway followed silently. 

* * * 

The pace Chakotay was setting was perfect -- not too fast yet they were covering the ground rapidly. Of course, Janeway wasn't quite sure where they were going. "We're lost, but we're making good time," she thought to herself randomly. 

Still, for a survival test, this program was proving to be a little...tame. So far the most alarming organism they had encountered had been a swarm of blackflies. And that wouldn't have been so dangerous if Janeway hadn't gotten carried away with her swatting and had accidentally whacked her First Officer. Hard. She winced inwardly again at the memory. Still, the expression on his face had been... unforgettable...to say the least... 

"I suppose we should try to find something edible," he was saying as he pushed through the trees that were growing more closely together now. Janeway did not answer. A flash of grey off to the side caught her attention and she paused briefly. Unaware that she had stopped, Chakotay pressed on, muttering something about mushrooms. 

There. A grey squirrel. Fascinated, Janeway watched it for a moment as it scampered up a nearby pine tree. then she turned away...and blinked. The path ahead was empty. A brief flicker of alarm shot through her, which she quickly stifled. He would be just up ahead. There wasn't anywhere else to go, after all, given that the trees were now so thick that any attempt to leave the path would result in multiple scratches and a _lot_ of noise. 

Speaking of noise...from up ahead came a thud and a muffled yelp. "Chakotay?" Janeway lengthened her stride, ducking under an outstretched branch. "Are you all right?" 

"I'm...fine." There was a sheepish tone to his voice. 

"Where are you?" 

"Er...over here." 

The path ahead widened slightly. Janeway hurried forward, alarm growing within her...then stopped dead. For a long moment she stared incredulously at the sight before her then had to turn away as a tide of laughter threatened to engulf her. With a mighty effort she managed to suppress it. 

"It's not funny," he said plaintively. 

Janeway drew a deep breath. "No. I suppose not." She looked up at him, striving gallantly for an expression of sympathy and concern. It took a _lot_ of effort. 

Her First Officer was hanging upside down several feet above the ground, a noose around his left foot, and a look of mingled annoyance and embarrassment on his face. He swayed slightly in the breeze and Janeway dissolved into a gale of laughter. 

"Do you mind?" he asked acerbically. 

"Not at all," she said, suppressing her merriment. "I'll get you right down...can't have you just hanging around..." She had to pause to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face then vanished into the trees, seeking the end of the rope that held him. Chakotay groaned. 

"You're not being very sympathetic..." he started to say, then broke off as she found the rope tied around a nearby tree...and released it. Abruptly the ground came up to meet him. Hard. 

He landed in a bush, which was useful in that it helped break his fall. Unfortunately it also had thorns. Chakotay bit back the curses that came sizzling to his lips as he tried to pull himself from its grasp. 

Janeway materialized from out of the trees, her eyes sparkling. "What are you doing in there?" she asked innocently. Chakotay cast her an unreadable glance, then carefully reached past the thorns for a cluster of large purple berries. "Looking for something edible," he replied, deadpan. 

Janeway dissolved again into helpless laughter then reached a hand down, bracing herself against his weight as he pulled himself up. "Well done, Commander," she said with mock seriousness. "Although next time I suggest you try another approach to food-gathering." She reached out and pulled a twig from his hair. "You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards." 

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, brushing the rest of the leaves out of his hair. His fingers brushed hers and Janeway's breath caught in her throat. Their eyes met and a stunned expression crossed both their faces then Janeway turned aside and continued hastily. "Well, since you were clever enough to find out what the traps look like, we should be able to avoid them in future." She glanced back at him over her shoulder, a wicked smile on her lips. "That _was_ what you were doing, wasn't it?" 

"Absolutely." He nodded agreeably. The brief moment of tension between them faded as if it had never been. 

Janeway's grin widened. "You, Chakotay, are a man of many talents...trap-finding, bush-diving. What else do you do?" 

"It's a _very_ long list." 

She laughed out loud. "And modesty is obviously not high on it." 

He shook his head. "No...I'm afraid I'm sadly lacking in that area." 

There was a pause then Janeway looked back up the path. "Shall we?" she asked, waving an arm toward it. 

"All right. But _you_ go first this time." 

She laughed again then strode away, deeper into the woods, not waiting to see if he was following. Chakotay hesitated for a moment, watching her go, then moved forward, watching his footing more carefully this time. 

* * * 

It had been good to hear her laugh again, he realized as they continued through the forest. She hadn't smiled much since...since Eidolon. The events of three weeks ago had obviously affected her more than she had initially let on. After that last moment on the planet, when she had reached for his hand as they were beaming back to Voyager... She hadn't exactly avoided him but neither had she gone out of her way to be near him. And their conversations had been...not stilted...but still lacking in their earlier ease. Chakotay sighed. Of course, he probably hadn't helped much. Most of his time had been spent working through his own emotions about the wraith. It was only recently that he had begun to come to terms with what had happened to him. 

Chakotay's gaze returned to the slim figure moving through the forest ahead of him. In a way it had been harder for her, he thought. He had known what was happening, known from the first that he was no longer in command of his own body. She had had only her own instincts to guide her. And yet somehow she had seen through Eidolon's lies and had brought him back. She had risked her life and her very sanity...for him... 

Lost in thought, the Commander didn't notice that Janeway had come to a halt until it was too late. Unable to stop himself in time he plowed into her, sending her jolting forward a few steps before she could regain her balance. "Sorry..." he started to say when she hushed him quickly with a waved hand. He moved forward a pace and looked questioningly down at her. Silently she pointed. He frowned, staring into the trees...and then he saw it. An Altairian hawk. A female. She was sitting on a pine branch, her mottled brown and grey plumage blending with the forest behind her, her long hooked beak slightly open.   
She was beautiful. Chakotay watched as the hawk shifted slightly, her gaze focusing on the two human interlopers. For an endless moment the forest was still, and then the hawk spread her wings and screamed at them. 

Chakotay's reverie faded. Stories of nesting hawks and their territorial instincts flickered through his mind. He pulled at Janeway's sleeve. "Let's go," he whispered in her ear. 

As if that slight sound were the trigger, the hawk abruptly leapt from the branch and dove straight toward them. Suddenly the bird was no longer quite so fascinating. Both Starfleet Officers ducked as she plummeted toward them, only the wind and the faint rustle of feathers marking her passage. And then she was in the sky above them, shrieking abuse. The two humans turned to flee...and rebounded off each other as they both tried to take opposite directions. They gave each other a frustrated glance then, as one, ducked as the hawk stooped low for another attack. Janeway hastily seized his sleeve and plunged into the forest, her First Officer in tow. 

Fortunately just prior to each dive, the hawk would fall silent...and Janeway and Chakotay would duck. And then they would continue their hasty retreat. The bird moved with ease through the thick trees, but the Starfleet Officers were not so lucky. Pine boughs and fallen trees impeded their progress and once Janeway tripped over an exposed root. Only Chakotay's hand under her elbow kept her on her feet...and then the bird was on them again. They ducked once more, catching a brief glimpse of an angry brown and grey shape gliding past and ahead of them. And then another shape soared in from the left. Her mate. Damn. 

"Wait a minute..." Chakotay paused in his headlong flight. "Computer, delete Altairian hawks." The only response was yet another stooping attack. "Computer..." 

"Don't talk. Run!" Janeway yelled at him over her shoulder. He glanced up...and, throwing dignity to the winds, dashed after his Captain. 

Finally the hawks broke off the attack, evidently feeling they had harried the humans far enough from their nest. At that moment, Janeway broke from the gloom of the trees into blinding sunlight and a meadow...with a fast-moving creek...right before her. Arms cartwheeling wildly, she managed to skid to a halt at the last possible moment. And then Chakotay emerged from the trees at a full gallop, only a pace or two behind her. 

"Chakotay, no..." she only had time to say, before his full weight slammed into her. Together they plunged headfirst into the creek. 

Janeway emerged first, sputtering, cold water dripping from her hair, Chakotay's weight pinning the rest of her beneath the freezing water. She pushed futilely at him. "Get off," she said, her teeth chattering in the sudden chill. 

He was trying. But he couldn't seem to find any purchase on the water-slick stones. Each time he tried to lift his weight from her, the force of the water pushed him back. This was becoming embarrassing. Finally he gave up and rolled, effectively drenching them both yet further. And then he was on his feet, reaching behind him for his Captain. Together they half-crawled, half-swam to the far bank. The Commander collapsed on his back on the muddy shore while Janeway likewise fell face down beside him, gasping. A long moment passed then he took a deep breath, shoved his wet hair back to scan the sky above them, and breathed a heartfelt sigh. The hawks were gone. Only then, reluctantly, did he glance over at the shivering woman beside him. 

She was staring wordlessly at him through her matted red hair, which had worked loose from her intricate pony-tail. The expression in what he could see of her eyes was not particularly warm. He essayed a small, lop-sided smile. "Oops." There was a note of trepidation in his voice. 

Janeway levered herself up on her elbows and pushed her hair back. "Oops?" she repeated. "Oops?" 

"Um. Sorry?" 

"You're sorry?" Her voice rose. "Chakotay, you just threw me into a creek." 

"But I jumped right in after you." The lop-sided smile tilted yet further. 

"You...?" Incredulity flashed across her blue eyes, and then she lowered her face onto her arms, so he could no longer see her expression. Concern went through him...until he realized she was laughing again... hysterically. She rolled onto her back, ignoring the mud and holding her side, and gave into the mirth bubbling within her. After a moment, Chakotay joined her. 

* * * 

When Janeway finally regained control of herself, her sides ached and her jaw was sore. She was also becoming uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was soaking wet and lying on her back in the mud. Still, she hadn't laughed like that in a long time. It had felt...good. She glanced over at her First Officer as she slowly sat up, pushing futilely at her hair. He too was soaked, his beige shirt clinging tightly to his chest and arms...his well-muscled chest and arms... She swallowed deeply then quickly looked away, trying to repress her straying thoughts. "That is not helping, Kathryn," she told herself severely. The fact that her emotions were running wild...had been ever since... No. No. No! Janeway thrust the images aside and climbed to her feet, squelching slightly. "This is not the time," she thought to herself sternly. "Isn't it?" another voice inside her asked. She ignored it. 

Chakotay's eyes had opened when she moved. He peered up at her, squinting a little in the sunlight. "This is not what I had in mind," he said. 

"No." She looked around. "Computer, end program." There was no response. Beside her, Chakotay shifted and gracefully climbed to his feet. 

"Let me guess...the holodeck is malfunctioning... again." There was no surprise in his voice. 

She shot him a look. "Computer. Exit." Again, no response. 

Their eyes met. "Now what?" 

Janeway unconsciously reached for her communicator pin, then realized she was not wearing it. Neither of them had thought it necessary to bring one. She gritted her teeth. "Now we wait until someone misses us." 

"Wonderful." Chakotay's voice was dry. "Our next duty shift isn't for another twelve hours. And in the meantime...?" 

She sighed. "In the meantime...we survive." 

END OF PART ONE 


	2. Chapter Two

Survival Instinct 2 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY II:**   
**SURVIVAL INSTINCT**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 2/3 

SURVIVAL INSTINCT II   


  


Once again, Janeway found herself struggling futilely to start a fire. She cursed silently. Lately, the better part of her life seemed to involve crouching on her knees over wood and bits of kindling, blowing into embers that refused to catch, and inhaling torrents of smoke. It didn't help that she was soaking wet and that her clothing was clinging to her uncomfortably. She shivered at the cold wind knifing through her and glanced up at her First Officer, who was breaking more twigs for her. "Are you getting a feeling of deja vu?" she asked. 

"There are a few differences." He handed her the sticks. "At least this time I haven't been shot and you haven't been poisoned. And neither of us is currently possessed by an evil alien...I presume?" Chakotay's voice rose on the last words, trying to inject some levity into the moment. Then he cursed himself silently at the shadow that crossed her eyes. Hastily, she turned her attention back to the campfire. Chakotay watched her for a moment then crouched beside her. "I'm sorry," he said simply. 

She glanced at him. "For what? Throwing me in the creek? You should be." Despite her tone, her expression was strained. 

He shook his head. "For bringing up...what happened. And for not being there for you these past few weeks." 

Janeway gave him a startled look. She opened her mouth to reply then changed her mind at the last moment. Uncomfortably she edged away from him a little, focusing on the fire that stubbornly refused to start. "I need more kindling." 

"Kathryn..." 

"If we don't get a fire started soon, we're both going to freeze." She didn't meet his eyes. 

Chakotay paused, then leaned forward across the twigs and put both hands on her shoulders, forcing her to face him. She stiffened at his touch. "Kathryn. We need to talk." At last her gaze met his. For a moment he thought she would pull away then she stilled. She hesitated...then nodded. 

"You're right. We do. But not now." 

There was a brief battle of wills then Chakotay's gaze dropped and his hands fell away. He too nodded reluctantly. "I'll get more wood." 

Her expression lightened and a small smile curled at her lips. "Thank you." He stood, as she resumed her efforts with the fire. "Besides," she muttered, half to herself, "All I can think about right now is being warm and dry again." 

Suddenly, with no warning, there was a blinding flash of light, as if the holodeck's main circuitry had overloaded. Both Chakotay and Janeway flung up an arm to protect their eyes, then blinkingly reopened them, wincing at the glare.   
Everything had changed. Where a forest and thick undergrowth had been, a desert now lay. Around them a sea of golden sand dunes stretched out to the horizon which shimmered in the distance. Two orange suns pulsed in the electric blue sky. There were no plants, no signs of animal life...nothing but the sky and sand. 

"Computer...End program." The result was the same as before. Janeway met Chakotay's eyes in dismay. Her wet clothing had begun to steam, she noticed distantly, and her hair was drying rapidly. 

Chakotay bent and ran some of the yellow sand through his fingers then looked up at her. "The programs seem to be merging," he said. "I think this one might belong to Ensign Agaris." 

Janeway chewed her lip. It was hot, and growing hotter. "So we're on Deneb Prime now?" she asked, mopping at her brow. 

The Commander nodded and climbed back to his feet. "I think so." 

"Have you ever been there?" 

"Just once. I left in a hurry." 

Great. Just great. "So how hot is it going to get?" She shaded her eyes and peered cautiously at the twin suns that were rising higher in the sky. 

Chakotay was gazing at her with some concern. "Do you really want to know?" he asked. 

"Probably not." She turned her back on the binary stars, feeling the back of her neck prickle with the heat. She resisted the urge to pant. "Well, you're the expert here. What's our next move?" 

"Look for an oasis. We can't stay here." 

Janeway sighed. "Agreed. Which way?" 

"Left?" 

"Why?" 

"Why not?" He echoed her earlier words back at her then gave her a reassuring glance. 

"And I wanted to be warm and dry," Janeway thought ruefully moments later as she struggled across the shifting sands. "Chakotay?" she said aloud. 

"Yes?" 

"The next time I decide to take a survival course on the Holodeck, hold me down until the urge passes." 

"Deal." 

Together they moved across the desert, only the low whistle of the hot wind breaking the silence. 

* * * 

Their clothes had dried in a matter of minutes it seemed. The suns had reached their zenith...and had stayed there... while the temperature had moved from uncomfortable to "hot enough to fry your eyeballs" -- at least in Janeway's private opinion. 

Her foot slipped as the sand shifted beneath her and Chakotay reached out to steady her. She cast him a covert glance. Beyond a faint sheen of perspiration glistening on his brow, there were no signs that the heat was affecting him. Janeway, on the other hand, thought she was going to die. She had never been able to cope with the heat. Put her in an icy frozen wasteland and she'd be fine, but a blazing hot desert...she might as well give up now. And of course she had inherited her mother's red hair and fair skin that burned if she even looked at the sun the wrong way. She rubbed surreptitiously at her nose -- it was already starting to peel. Damn. Meanwhile, her First Officer looked like a modern version of Lawrence of Arabia. It wasn't fair. 

Actually, he made a very dashing Lawrence of Arabia. After several minutes of struggling through the dunes, he had removed his shirt, torn both sleeves off, and offered her one as a makeshift head-covering, wrapping the other artistically around his own. So now he was looking very...piratical...in his bandanna and suddenly sleeveless shirt which he had not bothered to rebutton all the way. And _that_ wasn't helping Janeway's body temperature much either... 

She stumbled again. Once more he was there, steadying her. "Are you all right?" The concern in his voice was growing. He gazed closely at her. Her hair was tangled --she had made some effort to tie it back again but it had defeated her efforts -- and a red flush was beginning to creep across her face. Much more of this and she'd end up looking like a Talaxian tomato. She rubbed her nose again. 

"I suppose you never burn, do you?" There was an accusing note in her voice. 

"No. Sorry." 

She did not reply, merely stared over his shoulder at the surrounding desert. "Do you think there is an oasis out here somewhere?" 

"I don't know. It would depend on..." Chakotay broke off. Janeway's expression had changed to one of amazement. He turned and followed her gaze...and promptly lost his faculty for speech. Finally, he managed to ask: "Do you see what I see?" 

Her voice was cautious. "I'm not sure. What do you see?" 

Chakotay hesitated. "I see a large group of Klingons ballroom dancing. To a Viennese waltz." 

"Me too. Odd...isn't it?" 

Another long silence fell between them as the Klingons waltzed closer across the sand, the strains of the "Blue Danube" floated through the desert air. Chakotay and Janeway watched incredulously as the group, the men in black tuxedos and the women in bright, feathered evening gowns, danced past them. And then they were gone, disappearing over the sand dunes. The Captain exchanged a glance with her First Officer. 

"Well, unless that was a shared mirage or we've both completely lost our minds, I think the programs have been merging again. Any idea who owns that one?" 

"None whatsoever." There was a note of blank astonishment in his voice. 

"I'm starting to think I should worry about the state of my crew's psyche." Janeway turned away as the music began to fade. 

Chakotay cast one more disbelieving glance to where the dancers had vanished. "You could be right." They shared a bemused look for a moment then the Captain resolutely set out again. Behind them, the last strains of music faded and vanished altogether. 

* * * 

Janeway slowed to a halt and resisted the urge to topple forward into the sand. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could stand. Beside her, Chakotay stopped when she did, the concerned expression once more on his face. He was about to speak when she looked down...and leapt sideways, reaching a hand toward him. He followed her gaze. A large centipede-like insect scuttled past them and vanished over the crest of a nearby sand dune. 

Janeway suddenly realized that her heart was pounding uncomfortably fast and that she had his arm in a vice-like grip. Hastily she released him. "Sorry," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Just more deja vu..." 

Chakotay hesitantly reached out and touched her shoulder. "The gwari?" 

For a moment Janeway debated changing the subject again... But then the memories of the small insect whose bite had nearly killed her three weeks ago returned full force -- and suddenly the silence became too much. "I thought I was going to die," she said softly, meeting his eyes. 

"So did I. I thought I would have to watch you die. That there was nothing I could do to save you. That was..." His voice tailed off. The silence grew between them. Finally, he continued. "Kathryn..." 

"Yes?" 

"I...have to ask. Do you...blame me...for what happened?" 

"No! Of course not." She responded a little too quickly. There was another uncomfortable silence and she glanced away, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. "Well...maybe part of me does...did." She didn't look up, didn't want to see the hurt on his face. She swallowed and kept talking. She had come this far, after all... "Part of me did blame you for letting Eidolon take control of you. I know...I _know_...that there was nothing you could have done and that it was only because you were strong enough to defeat him in the end that we're both not dead...but...there was still some small part of me that blamed you for putting my ship and crew in danger. I...I know it's not logical, and it's not _right_, but..." She choked on her words and ground to an awkward halt. 

"I blame me too." The bitter self-recrimination in his voice caught at her and she glanced up apprehensively. The expression on his face was... No! She couldn't allow this...She reached up and rested one hand lightly on his shoulder. 

"No," she said aloud. "Don't do this to yourself, Chakotay. It wasn't your fault. I know that. I really do. There was nothing you could..." 

"I hurt you." Anguish had joined the recrimination. "I hurt you, kidnapped you, and nearly killed you." 

She shook her head. "No. We've already had this conversation. Eidolon did those things. Not you. Look - ignore everything I just said. I _did_ blame you...sort of...but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I don't anymore. _No_ part of me blames you." Her other hand joined the first and she took a step closer. "Please don't do this to yourself." 

He reached up and seized her wrist. "Kathryn." She did not move. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that Eidolon did and said to you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to stand against him..." 

"Chakotay..." It came out as a ragged whisper. 

"No. You have to let me say this. You could have died so easily. There were times I thought you _had_ died. Times I thought I had lost you...that I'd never get the chance to tell you..." Chakotay drew a deep breath and dragged his tangled emotions back under control. He altered his grip on her wrist, allowing it to slide upward until he was holding her hand. "You brought me back from the darkness, Kathryn, and I...I owe you a debt I can never repay."   
  
Why did she have the impression that that wasn't what he was going to say? Janeway thrust the sensation aside and responded to his words. "There is no debt. Friends... friends don't count costs. And, if it helps...whatever part of me that blamed you, forgives you. If...if you can forgive me too." 

"Forgive you? For what?" Now there was only blank astonishment in his voice. 

"I shot you. In case you'd forgotten." A crooked smile crossed her face, mingling with the tears that were threatening to fall. "I also gave you a concussion, tied you up, and bashed you over the head with a rock. None of which I'm especially proud of..." The smile had vanished. 

Chakotay's grip on her hand tightened. "You had no choice." 

She looked away. "There are always choices." The stricken look had returned to her face. "Chakotay, I _shot_ you. I could have killed you. If my aim had been just a little off..." 

"But it wasn't. And you didn't. Kathryn -- you did what had to be done. I don't blame you -- how could I? You saved my life." 

"And you saved mine." There was a long silence, then: "Why are we both agonizing over this?" 

He drew in a deep breath. "I'm...not sure. Probably because we both hurt each other. And because..." 

"Because...?" 

Another deep breath. "Because when you hurt someone you...care about...it hurts you too. Sometimes more." 

There really wasn't anything she could say to that. Janeway nodded and began to step backward, her face still reflecting all of her bruised emotions. With a muffled exclamation, Chakotay suddenly pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. For an instant she stiffened then hesitantly returned the embrace, her heart pounding against his. An eternity passed, then finally: 

"Chakotay?" Her voice was muffled against his chest. 

"Yes?" 

"It's too hot to hug you." 

Laughter that helped banish the despair welled up within him, and he slowly released her. Carefully she withdrew from his embrace, moving back a pace, then met his gaze. Some of the underlying tension had faded from her eyes and she held herself less stiffly than before. Likewise, Chakotay could feel the stress draining away within him. Gently he reached a hand out and wiped away the single tear that had cascaded down her cheek. She gave him a watery smile. 

"So...what are we going to do about...all this?" She waved a hand at the sand surrounding them. "If I have to spend much more time here, I think I'm going to spontaneously combust." 

She was changing the subject. Chakotay let her. As good as it had felt to air some of the emotions that had been tearing at him for weeks, they had more pressing concerns right now -- namely survival. "There's got to be an oasis in here somewhere. We'll find it." 

Janeway brushed a hand across her brow, wiping away moisture that she could ill afford to lose. "Hopefully before I drop from heat exhaustion." She gazed dourly at the expanse of sand around them. "What I wouldn't give for just a small rainstorm..." 

It was at that moment that the holodeck program shifted again. Without warning, the binary suns flared brightly... and vanished, the dunes transforming into thick tropical undergrowth...and the skies opened up. A blinding torrential rain cascaded down upon them both. 

END OF PART TWO 


	3. Chapter Three

Survival Instinct 3 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY II:**   
**SURVIVAL INSTINCT**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 3/3 

SURVIVAL INSTINCT III 

For a startled moment neither Janeway nor Chakotay spoke. Then, as one, they ducked under the nearest tree, taking what shelter they could find beneath its distant canopy. It wasn't much. 

They were in a jungle. Thick undergrowth covered the ground while, high overhead, distant leaves shuddered in the downpour. Despite the rain, the air was still warm and smelled of decomposing foliage. A deep, green-tinted gloom had replaced the blinding glare of Deneb Prime. 

Another wave of water hit them, and unconsciously they moved closer together, holding each other tightly against the deluge. The rain had become so thick they could barely see. Janeway shivered slightly, blinking water out of her eyes. How had she ended up here, she wondered randomly, clinging to her half-naked First Officer? This situation was adding new meaning to the word "irony"... 

"Kathryn." He practically had to shout in her ear to be heard over the tempest. 

"What?" 

"Have you noticed that everytime you ask for something, the holodeck complies...dramatically." 

He was right. When she had been soaking wet, she had asked aloud to be dry...and the ship's computer had produced a desert. Now she had wanted a little rain...and now they were in a raging tropical storm. It was a good thing she hadn't asked for a fire -- they probably would have found themselves in Dante's Inferno... Janeway braced herself a little more firmly against the tree, but did not relinquish her grasp on her First Officer. "I want to get out of the holodeck," she said, projecting her voice firmly over the storm. "I want to go back to Voyager...I want the rain to stop..." Nothing happened. 

"Try clicking your heels together three times and saying 'there's no place like home'". 

The look she gave him lost some of its force due to the bedraggled state of her hair and the water dripping from it into her eyes, but it sufficed. "That isn't very useful, Commander." 

He opened his mouth to reply, then abruptly tightened his grip around her shoulders and without hesitation flung her to the ground, throwing his body over hers. 

Thoughts of insanity, followed closely by mutiny, flickered through Janeway's mind. Then Chakotay shifted slightly and she could see past his shoulder...to the spot where they had been standing only moments ago...and the immense bough that had crashed to the ground. Janeway swallowed deeply as reaction and relief poured through her. They could have been killed... 

"I guess we can say with some degree of certainty that the holodeck safety protocols are not functioning properly..." She was babbling, but she couldn't seem to help herself. The nearness of their escape, coupled with the strength of the storm had left her trembling like a leaf. And Chakotay knew it. He could hardly help it, given that he was still sprawled on top of her. 

Janeway abruptly stilled. This was the second time today she had found herself lying underneath her First Officer. Her breath caught in her throat as his gaze met hers, rainwater pouring over them both. She could feel the heat of his body through their soaked clothing, feel the beat of his heart against hers, his breath against her cheek. They might as well have been naked... 

Janeway opened her mouth to speak, though not at all sure what she was going to say. Blinding need was pouring through her with a force that rivalled the storm. "This is...insane," she thought wildly, "we're trapped on the holodeck, we could be killed at any moment, and all I can think about is... Chakotay." She swallowed deeply. He was staring into her eyes, his face reflecting the same emotions she felt sure was blazing on hers, his weight pressing her into the wet ground. It would take so little -- one word, one move...even a hint of invitation in her eyes, and... 

A faint sound intruded. With an effort she managed to wrench her eyes away from the brown ones so close to hers, and glanced to the side...in time to see the heavy log swinging low on a rope, coming directly toward them. 

"Hell!" Janeway instantly shifted her grip on her First Officer, levered one leg beneath her...and rolled, dragging him with her. 

It almost worked. They were almost clear of the log's path when her momentum ran out. There was a moment of blinding agony as something hit her high on the right hip and then her leg went numb. They continued rolling together, driven now by Chakotay's strength...and then they were safe, the log whistling by above them. They both ducked as it arced back along its path and vanished into the undergrowth. 

Janeway found herself lying once more beneath her First Officer but all thoughts of impropriety had vanished from her mind. She was too busy trying to cope with the sudden onslaught of pain shooting along her hip. Chakotay levered himself up, keeping an eye on the foliage in case the log should a reappear. He leaned over her worriedly. 

"Kathryn?" 

"I'm all right." 'Liar', her subconscious screamed at her. She wasn't all right. It hurt like hell and, for a moment, she was afraid to move. Then she realized that Chakotay was running his hands over her, but not in the manner she had considered only moments ago. Now he was clinically checking for injuries. His hand reached her hip and she stifled a yelp. 

"No you're not." The concern in his face had changed to fear. Fear for her. "You're hurt. We've got to get you to sickbay." His hands were shaking slightly, she noticed distantly. 

"I'm fine. Really." Gasping for breath, she pulled herself into a sitting position, ready to duck at any moment should more unseen traps strike them. "I'm just bruised. I only need a few minutes. Really." She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. 

Chakotay wanted to strangle her. She was lying to him. It was obvious that she was in pain -- her face had paled beneath the faint sunburn and shock was glazing her eyes. He glanced again at the nearby plant life. She could have been killed. If that log had hit anywhere else... "Why did you do that?" An undercurrent of anger laced his words and it was taking all his willpower not to seize her by the shoulders and... He fought to regain control of his emotions. 

"Do what?" Pain coloured her voice as she clutched her hip with her right hand. She shifted slightly, trying to determine the extent of her injuries. 

Chakotay gritted his teeth. "Throw yourself in that log's path," he answered. 

She shot him a look, his tone finally beginning to register. A thin thread of ire went through her in turn. "I did not 'throw myself in that log's path'. I got _you_ out of it!" She shrugged free of his hands and concentrated on getting her feet under her, biting her lip at the pain when she moved. 

"That blow was meant for me. If you hadn't rolled like that..." 

"It would have hit you on the side of the head and I'd be minus one First Officer." 

His fists clenched. "You've got to stop taking risks like this..." 

"Oh fine," she growled, her temper now thoroughly lost. "Next time I'll let it take your head off. Satisfied? Now either help me up or go away and let me do this in peace." Her gaze clashed with his for a long moment then finally he stood and silently reached a hand out. She took it and slowly clambered to her feet, balancing most of her weight on her left leg. 

He was quick to release her hand, she noticed. What was wrong with him? She'd never seen Chakotay so...furious. For a moment his legend of the angry warrior came back to her, and now she could quite believe it. This man could be...dangerous. Unfortunately Janeway didn't respond very well to danger signs. The impulse to indulge in an all-out fight with him was so strong she could almost taste it. Logically she knew that both of their responses were due to the nearness of their escape and the shared stress they had endured in the last few hours...not to mention the sheer blazing sexual tension that had stormed through them mere moments ago, but still... 

"No, Kathryn," she thought to herself, "he's concerned. That's why he's acting like this." She drew a deep breath. "Thank you," she managed to say in a relatively calm voice. 

Chakotay was visibly struggling with himself. "You're welcome. How is your hip?" His voice was terse but the ominous undercurrents were gone. 

She took an experimental pace forward, limping heavily. It hurt, but not quite so badly now. Or perhaps she was getting used to the pain. "I told you. It's just bruised. I'll be fine." 

He narrowed his gaze but did not respond. Instead, he said: "I know where we are." 

Janeway blinked slightly. "Where?" 

"One of B'elanna's survival programs." 

"B'elanna?" A sense of foreboding filled her. "What kind of survival program?" 

"A very...Klingon...survival program. If you wanted to hone your skills, this is the place. And it's going to be twice as difficult now that you're injured." 

She narrowed her eyes. "Well, I'll try not to slow you down _too much_, Commander," she said acidly. 

Chakotay opened his mouth to reply, thought better of it, then turned to survey their surroundings. Above them, the torrential rains were beginning to slow slightly. Finally he glanced back at her. "Which way...Captain?" Their gazes clashed. 

"Left." Her voice was clipped. Resolutely ignoring him, she turned and limped away down the narrow path. Chakotay paused for a long moment then followed, his face an expressionless mask. 

* * * 

It was difficult to keep her fury blazing away inside her when all of her strength was going towards fighting her way through this jungle, Janeway quickly discovered. The pain in her hip had ebbed somewhat but she still limped heavily. The unevenness of the ground didn't help -- several times she had had to catch herself against a tree when her foot had snagged on a snarled vine or exposed root. 

At least the rain had stopped. Unfortunately though, great clouds of insects had emerged the instant the downpour stopped and launched an all-out attack on both of them. After the first few minutes of beating herself silly trying to keep them away, Janeway had given in to the inevitable and was steadfastly ignoring them...the same way she was ignoring her second in command. 

Chakotay hadn't spoken a word but had silently brushed past her moments after she had stormed away and was now doing his best to clear a path for them through the thick jungle. Of course, without any tools or equipment, it wasn't easy. "My kingdom for a machete," Janeway thought wistfully. Although, given the current precarious state of her emotions, she wasn't sure if she would use it on the plant life or on her First Officer... 

Anger still simmered within her. His belief that she had unnecessarily thrown herself into danger, and even worse, his implication that she was now a hindrance sent her anger soaring each time she thought of it. What gave him the right to...? No. It had been his fear and concern speaking. He hadn't meant it... 

Lost in thought, Janeway didn't notice the root curling along the jungle floor. It hooked around her ankle and without warning she crashed to her knees. Hard. Great. Just what she needed -- more bruises... For a moment she paused, unable to move as the pain in her hip reached new heights and her vision blurred. 

When it cleared, Chakotay was crouching in front of her. "Are you all right?" It was the first time he had spoken since their argument... She met his eyes. 

"I'm fine," she said coolly, "and I am _not_ slowing you down..." Tossing back a bedraggled lock of red hair that had fallen into her eyes, she clumsily climbed back to her feet. 

It was at that moment that movement swirled on the edge of her vision. Unhesitatingly she leapt at her First Officer, throwing him unceremoniously to the ground. As she did, a sharpened stake flew overhead, burying itself in a nearby tree with a dull thud. It's metre-long shaft quivered for an instant, then stilled. 

Janeway took a deep breath then looked down at Chakotay. Oops. That was a mistake. If he had been angry before, now he was overwhelmingly so. Seizing her by the shoulders, he surged to his feet, pulling her with him, then promptly dove for cover, off the path. Janeway ducked, wincing as a large frond slapped her in the face. She tried to slow their headlong flight but he had her wrist in a iron grip and she couldn't get enough leverage to dig her feet in and force him to a halt. And then the sounds of more stakes whistled through the jungle behind them and suddenly she didn't want to. 

Finally, when she was breathless and exhausted, Chakotay came to a sudden halt beside a steep precipice and turned, her wrist still encased in his hand. In one smooth movement, he released her only to seize her by the upper arms. Hard. "Stop doing that!" It wasn't quite a shout, but it was the closest to it she had ever heard from him. 

"Stop what?!" 

His fingers tightened. "Stop putting yourself in danger for me. I can take care of myself!" 

That did it. Janeway's tenuous hold on her fraying temper finally dissolved altogether. "Well that certainly hasn't been very evident lately. If I hadn't 'put myself in danger for you', you'd still have Eidolon as a permanent resident! You certainly weren't doing a very good job of taking care of yourself when..." 

Raw emotion blazed up in his eyes and his grip tightened yet further. Janeway swallowed, wondering if she had finally driven him to violence. He opened his mouth to speak...and at that moment the ground crumbled beneath them. As one they toppled over the edge of the precipice. 

* * * 

It was a mudslide. The rains had obviously eroded the cliff-face to the extent that their weight had been enough to trigger the slide. Janeway found herself plunging at frightening speeds down a steep curving path, leaves and fronds whipping at her as she sailed by. Behind her, she could hear Chakotay's descent but could spare no thought for him. Instead she concentrated on trying to stay on her back and slow her progress as much as possible. 

She wasn't doing too badly. So far, she had managed to keep her descent relatively controlled. And then, in a fast-moving blur, a large boulder appeared ahead...directly in her path. She had only an instant to act...and did so, by flinging herself into a shoulder roll, desperately trying to change directions. It worked. Sort of. Janeway missed the boulder by inches...but found herself falling completely out of control. There was a terrifying moment of blurred mud and tropical plants and then she reached the bottom with a bone-jarring thud -- and found herself once more submerged in water. She had only enough time to sit up in the waist-deep pool of mud and water, shaking her head once to clear her eyes...when Chakotay's body came catapulting toward her. 

Janeway ducked. It didn't help. Like a photon torpedo locked on target, he flew straight toward her, plowing to a uncoordinated halt...right on top of her. For the third time that day, Janeway found herself pinned beneath her First Officer's weight. This was becoming ridiculous... 

At least he wasn't dead or unconscious. He immediately opened his eyes and tried to sit back up, his face half-hidden by mud and water. One hand slipped and once more his full weight pressed her down. Janeway tried to wriggle aside, resolutely ignoring the fact that this was coming precariously close to mud-wrestling. Besides, she didn't have time to be embarrassed. She was still infuriated with the man... "At least you can't blame all this on me this time," she said as she finally managed to half-slide out from under him. "Unless you think I pushed you down that cliff to save your life again..." 

Incredulity lit his face...what she could see of it and then it was replaced by another emotion entirely. With the speed of a striking snake he reached out and seized her by the arms once more, holding her in an unbreakable grip. "Damn you, Kathryn," he managed to say before he pulled her to him. 

When his lips came down on hers with bruising force, Janeway stiffened in shock...and something else. She opened her mouth to protest...at least she thought she was going to protest...and then his hand moved up to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer, and the kiss changed subtly. He still held her tightly, his arms imprisoning her own against his chest, but his lips slowly softened, moving across her mouth in a sensuous exploration. She gasped as his tongue roamed freely, tracing the line of her lips until she found herself responding hungrily, drowning in the sensations. And then his tongue met hers and Janeway's self-control vanished like dust on the wind. Somehow she found herself kissing him back, one hand going up to pull him even closer, the other moving past his open tunic to caress his bare chest. His hand went up to cover her own and she quivered. 

Chakotay was no longer in control of his emotions. The combined stresses of fear, concern, anger, and...everything else...had finally eroded his composure to the point where logic and decorum had been completely lost. All he knew was that he could have lost this woman... Despair, desire, fear, and a thousand other unnamed emotions welled up within him even as he pulled her closer, tilting her head back as he ravaged the depths of her mouth, running his hands freely over her body. 

"I should stop this," Janeway thought muzzily. Then he broke the kiss enough to whisper her name, his voice hoarse with need...and all thought fled. She pulled him back down to her, her lips meeting his and their legs entwining. She could feel every inch of him pressing tightly to her, could feel desire throbbing through them both. And then there was nothing but sensation and need... 

Neither of them noticed that the cliff and the pool of muddy water had vanished or heard the faint sounds around them...until a female voice close beside them said: "Lei?" 

Both Janeway and Chakotay jumped apart, wrenching their mouths away from each other, their hearts hammering in shock...and the Polynesian girl in the red sarong smiled cheerfully at them, holding out a garland of pink tropical flowers. More holodeck characters passed by in the distance while the faint lapping of water in the nearby pool was echoed by the music in the air. Janeway and Chakotay blinked in astonishment 

Chakotay suddenly felt eyes upon him and looked up...to the alternately stunned/amused/surprised gazes of Tom Paris, Harry Kim, and B'Elanna Torres standing in the still-open doorway. They were dressed in sarongs and beach wear, holding coconuts with straws in them, and were obviously prepared for a few hours on what Chakotay had privately dubbed "the hula-deck." 

At that moment he also realized he was lying full-length on the floor on top of his Captain in a _very_ compromising position, and that both of them were muddy, bruised, and definitely looking the worse for wear. Beneath him, Janeway twisted, sensing that they were no longer alone. She tilted her head, getting an upside-down view of the three newcomers...and winced. Immediately, she began to untangle herself from her First Officer. 

It was not easy. Somehow she had managed to wrap one leg and both arms around the man and that, plus the fact that her bruised hip was beginning to stiffen up, made moving difficult. Sensing her difficulties, Chakotay climbed to his feet quickly and gracefully, pulling her up with him then releasing her immediately. She didn't look at him. She didn't especially want to look at the others either. Diving for the nearest cover was the most appealing option right now. Janeway took a deep breath and stiffened her shoulders. "Starfleet Captains do not hide under tables," she told herself firmly, a little surprised that she could still think after the intensity of the kiss..."No. Don't think about that. Just get out of here...fall back and retreat..." 

"Er...Good workout, Captain?" Paris was the first to speak. From either side, Torres and Kim simultaneously elbowed him hard in the ribs and he winced, sloshing his coconut drink slightly. Chakotay stiffened and took a half-step forward. Imperceptibly Janeway edged into his path and he stopped, still bristling. 

"There's been a problem with the holodeck. Various programs seem to be merging and the computer is not responding to voice commands." Janeway was vaguely surprised that her voice sounded firm and calm. She continued. "I want these problems fixed before anyone else uses it, Lieutenant. Understood?" She fixed a stern eye on Torres who had to swallow once or twice before her voice worked properly. 

"Yes...Captain. I'll...see to it right away." 

Nobody moved. The tension level soared. Finally Janeway nodded and stepped past them in a dignified manner. Or as dignified as she could manage given that she was soaking wet, covered in mud, her hair was tangled, and she had just been caught in a torrid embrace with her half-naked, similarly bedraggled First Officer. Cringing inwardly, she limped past them, ignoring the gazes of the three officers, flanked closely by Chakotay who likewise said nothing. Gritting her teeth, Janeway said over her shoulder: "I want that report on my desk by oh-six-hundred, Lieutenant." She did not wait for a reply. Together, she and Chakotay exited the holodeck. 

* * * 

Once outside, Janeway stopped. She didn't stop by choice but by necessity. Her hip had stiffened to the point that she was fairly sure that she would fall over if she took another step. As if sensing her difficulty, Chakotay took her arm, lightly steadying her. 

It was no good. She was going to have to look at him. She did...and immediately felt the blood rushing to her face. She was certain she was turning the same colour as her hair. 

For his part, Chakotay didn't look much better off. Almost every inch of him was covered in mud, there was a long scratch across his forehead and his tunic hung open to the waist. And he looked equally uncomfortable. The silence hung between them like knifepoints. 

"Chakotay..." 

"Kathryn..." 

They both spoke at once then fell silent. A passing crewman gave them a quick glance then stopped dead, his mouth open in astonishment. At their dual frown, he hurriedly resumed his pace, staring incredulously over his shoulder at them as he walked away. Janeway stiffened and glanced down at herself. If anything, she looked even worse than Chakotay. Mud covered her from head to toe, half the jungle seemed to be caught in her tangled hair, and there were a couple of rips in her clothing that stopped just short of indecency. The urge to dive for cover increased. She straightened her shoulders. "Chakotay... Whatever we need to say to each other, I suggest it wait until later." 

He looked as if he were about to argue then glanced down the corridor where other crewmembers were beginning to run into each other as those in front caught sight of their Captain and First Officer. "We are attracting a lot of attention, Captain. And you need to have the Doctor check your injuries." 

"After I've had a shower." 

"Captain..." 

"_After_ I've had a shower." Her tone permitted no argument. With a faint sigh, Chakotay tightened his grip on her arm, giving her some much-needed support. Together they set off down the corridor, leaning on each other slightly. The crew parted silently as they passed. 

THE END OF "SURVIVAL INSTINCT"   
TO BE CONCLUDED IN "FULL CIRCLE"


End file.
